Reversed
by siriusedwardLOVE
Summary: He's finally done the one thing she's always asked of him, and for the first time, she realizes it’s the last thing she’s ever wanted. Lily/James Oneshot. read


**Disclaimer - JK owns all but the plot!**

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After three long years of chasing after her, he's finally given up, finally moved on and done what she's always asked of him

After three long years of chasing after her, he's finally given up, finally moved on and done what she's always asked of him. And for the first time, she realizes it's the last thing she's ever wanted.

The roles are reversed.

Now, it's her that watches every mundane thing that he does; from eating his breakfast, to talking to his friends, to studying late at night.

It's her that wants to strangle any girl that actually attempts to talk to him. Even McGonagall received a glare before she realized the ridiculousness of the situation. It's her that stays up at night thinking of him, and wishing he could just look at her once, the way he used to.

But it's her, that unlike him, won't do a thing about it.

She keeps her secret to herself. Not even telling her best friend. She can't, because she knows it's her own fault. All this pain that she's feeling now is deserved and there's nothing she can do to stop it.

She watches from a far as he moves on, even when he gets a girlfriend.

She nearly dies every time he touches her, because she knows, that it should be her in his arms. It could have been her, had she not been so scared.

Because it was fear that kept her from him and now, it is that same fear that stops her from saying anything again.

She was terrified of his complete devotion to her. How he realized her hopes and dreams before she even realized it herself, and how he always knew what she would say before she said it.

Now it's a different fear that holds her back. Fear that he really doesn't care anymore.

She remembers hearing him, and almost falling to peaces right there, as he told Sirius the first day back, that yes, he was _finally_ over her. She listened to Sirius' disbelieve and she even listened when they both walked away laughing about how it was 'about time'.

The fear affects everything she does. It's slowly deteriorating everything in her life, from her relationships with her friends, to her school work. This pain, this constant pain, is eating her alive.

She's falling apart, and either no one cares or no one notices.

But she's wrong, because he has always noticed and he still does.

He's lied to himself and to his friends, lied so much that even he almost believed it himself. He never got over her, and he knows now that he never will.

He sees her drifting away from her friends, opting to stay behind alone more and more. And he sees how her friends' initial concern eventually develops into annoyance. He sees that her grades are slipping; she doesn't even bother taking notes anymore. And he sees her new apathy towards everyone around her. She doesn't seem to care about anyone, not even herself.

He wants more than anything to help her, but he just doesn't know how.

He doesn't know her like he used to, he doesn't know how she will react. But he knows he must do something, because he can't bear to see her change anymore.

So he does the only thing he can do.

He becomes the new caring James, who tries to be her friend and help her through whatever it is that's hurting her so much.

He realizes that he'd become anyone or anything she needed him to be in an instant, just because it's her. And it's then that he realizes that he loves her, truly loves her.

But she doesn't want this new caring James; he's strange and too helpful and not at all his old self. She wants the old James back, the one who made her laugh and blush, like no one else.

So when he tries to comfort her again, she throws a much needed tantrum.

Screaming she tells him exactly what's wrong, tells him she can't even close her eyes at night anymore because she knows it's him that she'll see. She tells him how she knows he's over her and she knows he has a girlfriend. She knows it's not right or fair that only now she realizes what her true feelings really are for him.

She lets him know that she hates this new James; that he's too nice and it makes her uncomfortable. She tells him that she wants the old James back, even if he was arrogant and cocky, because that's the James she's come to love and need.

And at the end of it all, he just looks at her. She has no idea what he's thinking and it scares her. This is what she's always been terrified of; putting herself out there only to be at the risk of rejection. And without giving him a chance to say the awful words she knows he will, she does the only thing she can think of.

She runs.

She hides in a classroom that no one ever uses and one that she herself has never even noticed until now.

Not even ten minutes later, he finds her, because he always finds her, no matter where she runs to.

When he picks her up and tells her he loves her, she knows it's the truth, she's been watching him long enough to tell he's sincere.

And when he kisses her, she realizes for the first time, it's the one thing she's never realized she always wanted.

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**A/N Hope you like this! Special thanks to BellaTonks for editing this for me :) Please review, it makes my day!**


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